The Second City

Today I went on an adventure with my roommate, Sylvia, to The Second City comedy club in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago. The Second City is a legendary comedy club that has produced names such as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. It was featured on an episode of Anthony Bourdain's series Parts Unknown as an iconic spot in Chicago. Going to a show at The Second City was something that was non-optional when I came to Chicago, and Sylvia and I decided to go to a best of show.

We got to the show about an hour early, just slightly before the doors opened. This turned out to be a fantastic idea, because we got seated right in the second row. The only people who had better seats than us were people who paid about twice as much for the show for tickets with priority seating. I definitely didn't mind having an hour to sit in the showroom. There were little pamphlets to read that included a menu and it gave me time to really take in the atmosphere. I bought a drink in a souvenir glass because today is Father's Day and I know this is something Dad would've loved, so I wanted to bring something back for him from it.

The show itself was amazing. There was a recurring bit about roasts. In the first iteration of it, a man walked into Starbucks and asked for a roast. The barista said something along the lines of, "You're so skinny that when your wife needs a toothpick, she just sucks your dick!" The rest of the cast came out of the wings to hype her. Once they went backstage, the man clarified that he wanted a dark roast, and the barista said, "And then she died!" The rest of the cast came out to hype her one more time, then the show moved on. In the next iteration, a man asked his wife if they had sunscreen. When she's wasn't sure, he said he was just asking to be burnt. She said, "You're so white and pale that when your frat brother's cum on your face, you can't even see it!" Once again, the whole cast came out to amplify his misery. Once they went away he clarified, seeming shocked and hurt, that he meant sun burnt. Another member of the cast came out, greeted the original man as his father, then said, "Fuck you, Dad, you motherfucker!" That was one of my favorite bits.

There was another bit I really enjoyed about the second amendment. A woman came out singing, and it seemed like she was singing about the power of God, but it turned out to be the power of Gun. As she was singing about how safe her gun made her feel, another cast member came out and shot her. This continued on and on until one woman had two guns, and shot herself in both of her own feet. The last cast member came out and sang about how people died sometimes but it was unpreventable, and we send our thoughts and prayers to the power of Gun. I'm not sure I can do it justice here without being able to convey the musical number aspect of it, but it was also one of my favorite bits.

I left with a point of personal pride from another bit. One of the cast members came out and was just staring intensely at me. Two other cast members were talking about something in the background, but I could see nothing beyond this dude standing there and staring at me, flaring his eyes. Being the person I am, my first instinct when faced with this awkward situation was to flare my eyes back. The corner of his lip jerked up just a little bit, and I will forever take pride in the fact that I made a Second City comedian crack, if just barely.

There were plenty of other bits in what was about a two hour show, but those are the ones that stand out the most to me in retrospect. After the show was over, Sylvia and I walked to a little hole-in-the-wall place for a cheap dinner, or at least as cheap a dinner as you can get in downtown Chicago. I really can't complain. I got a gargantuan pile of ribs and chicken for around fourteen bucks. Bellies pleasantly full, we spent the journey home talking and laughing about how great The Second City had been.