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Emotional Rollercoaster

Today I made my last effort to get through to the voter outreach organization I applied for a job with. It didn't work. My inability after a full week to even get in touch with these people marks the end of my efforts to stay in Chicago. It's clear at this point that nothing I came here to do is going to come through, and with that being the case it's not worth it to fight the battles I would have to fight to stay.

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a tinge of melancholy to the way I'm feeling about this right now, but all-in-all I'm okay. This blog has been important to me, and being able to look and see just how many posts I've made in the two weeks I've been out here fills me with pride. I'm happy with what I've done. If I go home now, it's a victory. If I tried to drag it out the rest of the summer for the sake of staying with no real opportunities on the horizon, that victory would sour.

Still, it's not time for a wrap-up post yet! I'm set to stay in Chicago through Pride. The goals have just shifted a little bit for the next week. Instead of pounding the pavement in search of my next opportunity, we've moved to full adventure mode. I've got a few final threads to cut this weekend, a task I'm not looking forward to. I worked hard enough to establish roots when prospects still looked better that I have some things to leave behind here. I have mixed feelings about that. I feel good that I managed to make it happen, but I wish my leaving would have less of an affect on other people.

Once the unpleasant task of uprooting myself is completed, I can move on from surviving to exploring, which means you can look forward to plenty of posts in the next week about the people and places I find in Chicago. It's been an emotional roller coaster getting here. I've felt grief and anger and disappointment every time it started to look like things were going to go south. I've also felt joy and pride and excitement in new and wonderful ways when I managed to coax something else unexpected out of life. If it's going to be my last week here (for now), I plan to make the best of it.

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